Cyberbullying – an insight through the eyes of a victim

 “I am going to cut off your head and feed it to your dogs on a dinner plate.” Those words still haunt me!  I will never forget the day they popped up on my mobile screen as a Facebook notification.  After a prolonged series of offensive, nasty and implied threats, this one was direct. I knew straight away who it was. I had my ideas, but kept trying to convince myself that it could not be them, they were family. He was the best man at my wedding only 4 months prior. But in that moment I knew, how I knew was easy. The attacks had stopped momentarily – 4 weeks to be exact – and had started again on that day. What was significant about that day was that it was the day he returned from an overseas holiday, from a place where there was no access to the Internet. The break coincided with the date he left and the very day he returned. But maybe it was just a coincidence. How could I prove that it was him? The person making the threats was not using his name.

What should I do I asked myself? I asked people who were close and aware of the situation the very same question. I knew what I should do but needed to talk to someone, wanted other peoples advise. It was all the same – report it to the police. After all this was now not just indirect it was specific and detailed. How could I also be sure it was who we thought – the person was hiding behind a ‘fake’ Facebook profile and email account. 

How could I protect myself? The idea that this could be someone I knew scared the hell out of me. I don't know what was worse initially, that it could be someone I knew (and therefore I knew who to be watching out for) or that it was someone I didn't know (and therefore everybody was a potential suspect). Either way I needed to take precautions. 
I had to remember that it wasn't just the threats. The person knew where I lived, they had said as much "You can't hide, I know where you live, your easy to find", my car had been vandalised, my cat had gone missing (and he has never been found), courier companies that did not exist were calling me to deliver urgent packages and needed to know my exact location and other such strange events.

At the time cyberbullying did not have the prominent attention it has now. The only people I could talk to were my family and friends but the drawback was I didn't know who I could trust now. i cut so many people out of my life to protect myself as a result. I wish that at the time this was happening to me I knew more information and that sites and organisations such as  Boys Town and the 

Australian Government were around.

I reported it to the police. I found out that these things were traceable and it was an offence under the Australian Legal system to use a carriage to menance, harass or cause offence. Lucky for me, everything you do on the Internet is traceable. The police launced their investigation and all 50 something threats had been made by who I suspected. It was traced back to his home and work computer. A personal protection order was put in place and a long drawn out criminal case was launched (it lasted over two years). I still remember the day the police confirmed that they knew the identity of the offender and that it as who I had thought.

I learnt somethings through my experience. While  I waited for the police investigation and all the red tape they had to go through to trace te threats I did some research myself. I found out that that through certain sites you can trace an email to an IP address, ISP and general geographical. I know this works and is accurate as I came up with the same IP address and ISP provider and the 'general location proximity was spot on with the suburb as what the police investigation revealed. Threats made to you on social media platforms such as Facebook can be traced the same way easily - the trick is that you must have email notifications selected in your preferences. I had this on mine (and purely through laziness, I didn't know how to turn it off). When the notification email is sent hidden in the email header is the information needed to trace the original senders IP address and ISP. My attacker though he thought he was clever and hidden by his fake account didn't count on this bit of useful information or the fact that in the digital world everything can be traced.

I also reported the events to Facebook who promptly closed the account of the offender - they had breached Facebook's terms of service by bullying  harassing  intimidating, doing something unlawful and malicious.

Its now almost 3 years since these events started, and just over one year since the last death threat was made and I am still emotionally scared by the experience. I am overly cautious. I have moved house. I look over my shoulder all the time. I freak out when ever I see a similar car to his near me and only breath a sigh of relief when I ‘lose the vehicle’. I don’t tell anyone anything personal. I don’t trust people – I changed jobs and would not let anyone other then my husband know where I worked. I rarely share personal information. There were dark days when I just wanted to die.

Cyberbulling is a crime. It has long lasting effects on its victims. It changes them.  Sadly people have taken their life as a result of cyberbullying such as Megan Meir and Sheinz Erkan. The toll of cyberbullying is high, I know I have been there.  I understand the pain these people felt – I too wanted to die at the darkest moments of my experience.

In today’s world bullying is so easy to do – it is easy to attack and persecute someone from behind the relative safety of your computer screen.  With our constant connection to to social media, computers and mobile devices , bullies have a 24x7 link to carryout their attacks. Bullies beware, you can and will be found out, there is no way to hide your actions – digital fingerprints and signatures are left everywhere and you can be traced. Thankfully cyberbullying is now out in the open.  There are abundant sources of information from organisations such as  Boys Town and the Australian Government that provide guidance and support for victims.

Trolling is another form of cyberbullying where a person intentionally 'causes distress, anger and argument on an online public forum for the purpose of disturbing other' (ACMA 2012). The Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) provide a great resource on how to protect yourself against trolling. Importantly it provides useful contact numbers and links for people who have been impacted by trolling and cyberbullying.

For help and advice if you or someone you know has been affected by cyberbullying contact:
Cybersmart Online Helpline
Kids Helpline- 1800 55 1800
Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636



References

Australian Government 2012, Cyberbullying: Stand Up and Speak Out, viewed 6 February 2013 http://www.cybersmart.gov.au/Teens/How%20do%20I%20deal%20with/Cyberbullying.aspx

Australian Human Rights Commission, Cyberbullying, human rights and bystanders, viewed 28 January 2013 http://humanrights.gov.au/bullying/cyberbullying/index.html

Campbell, M 2005, ‘Cyberbullying: An old problem in a new guise?’ Australian Journal of Guidance and Counselling, vol. 15, no. 1 pp. 68-76 viewed 27 January 2013 http://eprints.qut.edu.au/1925/1/1925.pdf

Keith, S and Martin, M 2005, ‘Cyber-Bullying: Creating a Culture of Respect in a Cyber World’, Reclaiming children and youth, vol. 13, no. 4 pp. 224-228, viewed 6 February 2013 http://www.gacsi.org/sites/default/files/content/attachments/CyberBullying-

Creating%20a%20culture%20of%20respect%20in%20a%20cyber%20world.pdf

Mcafee 2012, ‘Cyberbullying’, [image 2], viewed 4 February 2013 http://blogs.mcafee.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Cyberbullying-544x1024.jpg

Oneextrapixel 2010, ‘Face’, [image 4], viewed 4 February 2013 http://net.onextrapixel.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/face.jpg

Paredes, A 2012, Melbourne Schoolgirl Sheniz Ekran Commits Suicide Over Facebook Bullying, International Business Times: World, viewed 6 February 2013 http://au.ibtimes.com/articles/281112/20120113/melbourneschoolgirl-

sheniz-erkan-commits-suicide-over.htm 

Queensland Government 2012, Bullying and cyberbullying terms, viewed 6 February 2013 http://www.qld.gov.au/disability/children-young-people/bullying/terms.html

Sexy Social Media 2011, ‘Cyberbullying’, [image 3], viewed 5 February 2013 http://www.sexysocialmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Cyberbullying.jpg

Teach Today 2008, What are the effects of cyberbullying? Viewed 6 February 2013 http://www.teachtoday.eu/en/Teacheradvice/

Cyberbullying/What-are-the-effects-of-cyberbullying.aspx

The Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) 2012 , Protect yourself against trollling, Viewed 9 February 2013, http://www.acma.gov.au/WEB/STANDARD/pc=PC_600041